He Held My Hand

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will

strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea I will uphold thee with the right hand of

my righteousness.” ~ Isaiah 41:10 (KJV)

“For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will

help thee.” ~ Isaiah 41:13 (KJV)

Where do I begin? It seems the older I get, the harder my life gets. Not that I’m complaining. Just making a statement that my life has not been as easy as I thought it would be. But through it all ….…..yes, God has been good to me. In fact, HE HELD MY HAND!!

I can’t forget….It was a Monday, June 10, 2019 to be exact when I got the news. There was a mass on my right kidney! Needless to say I was stunned, dumbfounded, shocked to death! What? A mass? Oh no. How did that happen? Of course my question was “Is it CANCER”? My doctor said some tests needed to be taken to determine what exactly it was. And so it began. This journey of life has taken another turn for me and I gotta figure out “Lord, what are you doing now?”

You know, it is often said that we have to trust God in the midst of our tests and trials. And that praise is our weapon. Well, I do agree with these statements and I’m learning that every time I praise God, I feel better. The troubles of life don’t weigh me down. I’m free. I say all this to say that upon hearing the news of the kidney mass, I had to quickly decide “whose report I was gonna believe”. Well I decided to believe the report of the Lord which says that “by His stripes I was healed” (1 Peter 2:24). I also believe that “death and life lie in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). So I began to confess life over my body and over my situation.

I called for a family meeting with my siblings, so that I could give them the news. We all believe in the power of prayer. We committed the situation to God, asking for divine healing. However, after a series of tests, my fears were confirmed. Yes, I had cancer. Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, to be exact. Lymphoma is a blood cancer that affects the lymphatic system. This includes the lymph nodes. It is a rare type of disease. Lymphoma is a general term for many different types of blood cancer. Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma and Hodgkin Lymphoma are the two main types of Lymphoma. Mine is Non-Hodgkin.

We will understand it better by and by. Truer words were never spoken. We will understand it better by and by. But you see, I’m of the personality where I want to understand as much as possible now. I wish I could understand it ALL now but I know that’s pushing it. So I try to understand as much as possible, as soon as possible. In doing that, I read a lot, Google a lot, and listen a lot. These help me to gain insight into what I’m trying to understand. And oh yeah, I pray a lot. Without God, I can understand nothing. When I learned of my condition, I immediately went to my laptop and started Googling. When my doctor used a term I didn’t fully understand, I Googled it. When I wanted to understand more of the tests and procedures to be done, along with the information given to me by the hospital, I Googled. Thank God for Google!! And I’m still Googling today!!!

"Be an overcomer only cowards yield.

When the foe they meet on the battlefield;

We are blood-bought princes of the royal host

And must falter not, nor desert our post

“Be an Overcomer, only cowards yield”. I’ve always loved this hymn. Loved to hear the saints lift their voices in song and see their faces look of triumph. Be an overcomer. A word of guidance; a word of preparation; a word of enlightenment. I always found this song empowering. For me, a shy young lady who often felt the pangs of fear, this song was empowering. It challenged me. ….Only cowards yield...I didn’t want to be a coward. I believed I was stronger than I acted. I had to be! My favorite verse? Verse 2 which say "Be an overcomer, He who stands with you; Is a mighty One who is always true. In the sorest conflict you shall win the day. Face the legions dark, til they flee away".

I tell you, just typing out these words is bringing back sweet memories and encouraging my soul at the same time!! Nothing like those hymns of old, huh? But to tell you the truth, when I was told of the kidney mass, at first I couldn’t believe my ears. As I said before, I was truly stunned. I found it hard to even say the words “I have cancer”. I would simply say to my family and friends that “I was diagnosed with cancer”. Well, it took some time, but I finally came to the understanding that it’s ‘ok’ to acknowledge the cancer. You see, I came across an Ethiopian proverb letting me know that I can't expect to be cured if I hide my disease. That was an epiphany for me. How can I expect God to heal me of this cancer (which I do expect) if I hide my head in the sand concerning it? I can’t dismiss the fact that yes, I was diagnosed with cancer. And it’s ok to acknowledge it. But my faith is still in the God who heals ALL manner of sickness and diseaseI

Zelphia D. (Zel), Laydee Mystro

Author of "The Depressed Church-An Intimate Portrait"

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